we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
