I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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