i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
