ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
