turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
