we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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