I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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