I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
