I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I didn't shave. On purpose
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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