The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
COCAINE IS GR8
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
