so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
