walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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