I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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