I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
