I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
