it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
