Swine flu. Run for my life!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
