Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
