if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
barbara walters just said penis...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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