She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
