I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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