My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
time to smoke my breakfast
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
