We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
