Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
