i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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