Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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