He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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