In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
do herpes really smell.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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