I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
