A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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