Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I pour the whiskey from now on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
