I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
