is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
