try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
