You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
