the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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