exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
