Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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