the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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