alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
