So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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