While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
