i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
accomplished twins. life is a go
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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