glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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