how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
