So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize