In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to have your abortion
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
