i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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