i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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