There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
